Can you think of someone who you really hate or are angry at?
Maybe because of how they are, what they did to you, or said to you, or to someone you care about.
Maybe its a person, a political leader, an ideology, a community, a parent, a relative, a colleague, spouse, ex-spouse a boss. Even a system, country or culture.
Someone or something you have spent years hating. It’s not just you, many others also agree with you.
You can call it something nicer: like “Not hate, just dislike”, or apathy, indifference or someone who you have given up on, someone who no longer matters but still bothers you.
It is someone or something responsible for making your life much worse than it could be. If they were better, nicer, kinder…or different in some way, you would be much happier. Your life would have been much better.
Now ask yourself this: What if they already were much better than you imagined them to be?
Pause before you respond.
They did not become better. They did not change. They were already much better than you imagined. But you did not know it.
All those arguments you had, things you blamed them for doing or not doing – and they said that is not true…they were right. And your story about them was wrong. For the most part at least.
Reality was and is much better than you thought. But you did not see it.
Would you feel happy, or would you feel angry? Would you rejoice or fight back?
You might say “Well, if reality was better, then of course I would feel happier. But it is not!!!“
I am saying to assume it was. You are wrong. You were wrong all along. You wasted years suffering. You blamed them wrongly. They were and are better than you thought. You are wrong about them.
Would you rejoice or argue back?
Very often, in arguing we don’t realize that when the other person is saying that what we think is not true – common sense would say it is something to be welcomed. Explored. Listened to. Worth opening ourselves to. Worth considering.
But when we are caught up in our story of evil, injustice, of being a victim – we would rather fight back. We would rather close our hearts. And prove how evil they are, and how our suffering is justified. Rather than inviting the possibility that reality might be better than we imagined.
Anybody who tries to convince us otherwise, would be seen as a foolish, gullible, irrational or even a threat! Not a friend! We would be friends only with those who will support our story of suffering.
We would rather be right, than happy.