How we do NOT want to be happy

A few days ago, just before Independence day anniversary, I noticed an interesting phenomenon on Linkedin. The #boycottLSC campaign was in full swing. The allegation being the movie and Amir Khan disrespected our army people.

The assumption being that the movie would hurt them, make them unhappy. And we wanted them to be happy.

So the whole struggle is for our soldiers. Struggle for their respect, for their honor…for their happiness.

Now an ex-wing commander puts up a Linkedin post that he saw te movie…and ENJOYED it. He was NOT hurt. He was OK. He was happy.

In short, reality was BETTER than what the strugglers thought.

What do you think happened? Would they be happy with this discovery? Or angry?

You guessed it. Illogical, but true.

Hell broke loose. He was heavily trolled. With people accusing him of being Amir Khan’s agent, questioning his own capability to get into the Air force, and hurling him with abuses.

His mistake?

That he was happier than his well-wishers expected him to be.

We say we want to be happy. But we would rather be right in being unhappy.

We do this to ourselves too.

We are often angry, bitter, hurt about the ‘wrong’ things that people did, society did, a particular section of community did, our spouse did, our parents. How it hurt us deeply. How bad they are.

We say we want to be happy. But we would rather be right in being unhappy.

The question is: If they or someone else tells us that those people, society, community…our spouse.. those bhakts, sickulars..are actually better than we thought, that they actually have a point – would you welcome this possibility or it in anger(by calling it ‘invalidating my pain’ or some other fancy term)?

Often we are angry! No wonder it is difficult to communicate our hurt, to have a dialogue – because we risk being wrong about being unhappy.

What we often seek is validation for our suffering, not freedom from it.

We are not fighting for others in the world. We are fighting to prove our worldview right. Even if it is sad or even destructive!

It is like refusing to treat our broken leg, until the driver who crashed our car is punished. We forget that the pain exists independent of whose fault it is. We would rather gather fellow victims to protest against the driver, than heal our own leg.

The suffering provides meaning to our struggles. It makes us feel important, righteous, superior. And for that – we are willing to suffer.

Next time we find ourself hating, and feeling bitter towards someone – it might be useful to remember that that someone is not OUR problem, the hate and bitterness is.

That we often would rather be right, than happy.

Happy Independence day – Sometimes real freedom can look very different and be far better, than what we imagine. Let’s be open to it 😄

That openness of heart is all that might be needed. Any subsequent side effects are bound to be positive!

#freedom #selfawareness #independenceday

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