“I don’t know what to do!!” is a problem we often struggle with.
This would make it seem as if the answer has to do with the path. With “How do I get there?” Faster, cheaper, easier.
But often, the problem is not in finding the answer to “How do I get there?” as much as it about “Where do I want to go?”
Have you ever felt that you reached where you wanted to – and did not feel as happy as you thought you would? And immediately started obsessing on the next place to be?
The true reason for confusion
When we say “I know where I want to go” we often mean “I know where I should go”
Quick – think about the next vacation spot you aspire to go. Where did you get that idea from? Maybe from a friend’s FB status, the popularity of that spot, cos that’s the spot successful people go to at your age? Does it have anything to do with what you deeply want?
Ask the same question about your job aspiration. Is it to get a promotion, become a CEO, get into a field with ‘market demand’. Whose voice is giving that answer? Your..or your parents’, society’s, social media’s?
Most of our choices are not based on what we want, but on what others say we should want.
Most of our choices are not based on what we want, but on what others say we should want.
Why can’t we hear ourselves?
Our voice is drowned out by external voices. Why? Because our fear of being wrong(according to others) exceeds our love for what we truly want. So over years, we train ourselves to be much more perceptive to other’s voices, than our own.
Even if we do hear our own voice once a while, we are afraid of failure(“What if I don’t get there?”). We re-enter the realm of right and wrong. “I want to be successful” then becomes a filter criteria, rather than a choice.
- That’s the reason we don’t feel ‘motivated’ to go behind what we should want.
- That’s the reason we don’t feel ‘fulfilled’ when we get there.
- We start getting clarity on ‘What I do NOT want’, which is a step forward. But it still does not give us clarity on ‘What DO I want’.
So before asking “How do I get there?”, always ask “Where do I want to go?”
