Why do some people have the need to stay outside the crowd, while some have to be the center of attention?

The important word here is not ‘stand outside; or ‘stand at the center’ but ‘need’.

When we don’t have a need or a compulsion, it is obvious that one size cannot fit all.

It is sometimes useful to stand outside and get an outsider’s perspective. Look from new eyes.

Sometimes it is useful to be in the center and take charge. Drive things. Lead.

You do what is needed. As per the demand of the situation.


But when there is a need – then we become rigid. No matter what the situation – we feel the compulsion to use only one approach. This happens because our purpose is not to do something useful, but to avoid some fear.

If you have the need to always stand outside – maybe you are afraid of people’s bad opinions, of they rejecting your ideas, of their criticism. So you always stand outside, and make a up a story around “being an introvert” or “not being afraid to be different” or “Forging your own path” and many other stories.

If you have the need to always be at the center – maybe you are afraid of being ignored, of not being valued of others being valued more than you, or missing out on something, or being forgotten. So you always try to hog attention, and make a up a story around “I am a people person”, “enjoying talking to people”, “not afraid of putting myself out there” etc.

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